Why Bookworms Lead Dangerous Lives // full and final proof that exams are eating away at my sanity

How many times has someone told you to get your nose out of your book and go explore the Great Outdoors, go adventuring? One too many times, I’m sure.

But what the preparators of this statement fail to comprehend is that we bookworms are also constantly in danger by virtue of our own bookish habits. Every time we read, our very lives are on the line (how brave of us). As if mountain climbing, tight rope walking and rollercoaster riding can ever compare to the dangers of reading a book.

Following this line of thought, today I’ll be listing the various risks associated with reading which will prove how dangerous bookworms’ lives actually are.

___________

Okay. Situation 1. You are peacefully reading a murder mystery (as peaceful as you can be when investigating a murder), feeling that smug bout of satisfaction because you already know who the killer will turn out to be. Like literally all of the clues point to them, it would not have hurt the author to be a little more subtle right? And then it comes. You are caught completely unawares. What- how- when- but- she was his best friend?! Now you will smile a smug smile and say Ha Rachel i don’t read murder mysteries, joke’s on you so believe me when I say that fantasy books can be equally capable of giving you a heart attack (remember that time in These Violent Delights when she shot him and i thought he DIED but thank GOD he didn’t because then I would have died?? or what about If This Gets Out, which played the same cruel joke and I was so sure he was dead??)
The result? Heart failure due to plot twist.) and our conclusion is that NO ONE IS SAFE.

Next, picture yourself reading a gripping book. The story has hooked you and you NEED to know what happens next so you read. And read. And read. Mild disturbances occur, like people going from knocking at your door persistently to throwing pillows at you and begging you to STOP but you don’t let anything deter you and keep reading until you finish. It is only then that you hear a rumble (that’s your stomach by the way) and feel weak and realize you haven’t eaten in HOURS. Sounds a lot like starvation, don’t you think?

Ooh and what if you are reading outdoors? I hate to tell you this, but this only increases the risks a thousand times over. Bumping into a pillar (or people!!), causing road accidents, being the reason a poor cyclist nearly fell off his bike – who knows what destruction you’ll leave in your wake, all while you’re walking around engrossed in a book? So my dear friends, be smart and read at home. (i sound like one of those commercials don’t i?)

Not to say that you’re completely safe at home as well. Imagine you’re lying on your back on the bed, reading your new copy of Our Violent Ends (bonus points if it is a hardback!) and there’s some shooting and a character nearly DIES and you gasp and lose your grip on the book and it falls on your face ungracefully. Voila, that’s a broken nose. And there’ll be a round of I TOLD YOU NOT TO READ LIKE THAT from the rest of the household but we’ll focus on the nose.

If you thought death by grief was not a thing, THINK AGAIN. We die a little every time authors decide to toy with us by doing the unthinkable – killing off a character. I remember staring ahead blankly in shock during those moments in Crooked Kingdom until people started waving their hands in front of me to make sure I was still alive.

And don’t even mention the amount of sleep we give up on for books. When we are not reading them at ungodly hours of the night, we are thinking about them, or looking up fanart and fanfiction or just anything to stay with our characters for just a little bit longer.

____________

Since I do not want to scare you off from reading books for the rest of you life, I’m going to stop here (you’re very welcome). But next time you see an (seemingly) innocent little human sitting in a sunny cozy corner with their nose in a book, give a second thought about the valiant risks they are taking (and maybe write a song in our glory too).

Have you ever faced these dangers firsthand? (if not, tell me your secrets to immortality) Let me know in the comments so that I know that I am not alone!

~ Rachel

27 thoughts on “Why Bookworms Lead Dangerous Lives // full and final proof that exams are eating away at my sanity

  1. book deaths are the most horrific things ever
    then walking into pillars or anything at all (like the shoe rack in which i frequently bump into and have stubbed my toe a myriad times) (and have once even fell face-flat)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hahahaha, why are all of these so true? 😂😂😂 Although I must admit, I am rather proud of how well I am able to read while walking outside 😁 I am dead clumsy, so have I walked into pillars before? Yes. But have I ever done it while reading a book? Nope! 😊
    And you did not just do that, Rachel!! How could you be so cruel and remind us of THAT Crooked Kingdom moment?!? 😭😭😭😭😭

    Liked by 1 person

    1. now that is a RARE TALENT i tell you, you have my utmost respect. yepp i bump against things and people even when i’m not reading a book but shh.
      i’m evil like that *rubs hands evilly*

      Liked by 1 person

  3. poor bookworms, their fate is always left at the cruel hands of vicious authors, who have no mercy for us 😖

    ‘remember that time in These Violent Delights when she shot him and i thought he DIED but thank GOD he didn’t because then I would have died??’
    HOW AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO RUN AND READ THESE VIOLENT DELIGHTS AFTER READING THIS STATEMENT??? I AM ALREADY READING 5 BOOKS AT ONCE ( i’m very shocked too- i guess a wonderful example of my indecisiveness😂) AND AT THIS POINT THESE VIOLENT DELIGHTS MAY AS WELL BECOME THE SIXTH ONE.

    And omg people interrupting you while reading is the WORST. I WANT TO JUST READ MY BOOK IN PEACE LET ME BE 😭

    reading outside is one of the most riskiest things ever- I was once reading my book while travelling the train AND I MISSED MY STOP! I had a minor ( big understatement) breakdown back then but that is now in the past and I have learnt my lesson- BOOKS ARE VERY DANGEROUS AND DO NOT READ THEM OUTSIDE UNLESS YOU WANT TO HAVE A MENTAL BREAKDOWN.

    That typo in crooked kingdom broke my heart 💔 someone should really fix that to spare future readers the pain 😫

    I loved this post so much Rachel!! It was so hilarious!!💖💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. the woes of us bookworms 😭
      YES THAT WAS EXACTLY THE PURPOSE OF THAT STATEMENT AND SINCE I’M REPLYING SO LATE I’M HOPING BY NOW YOU HAVE READ THE DUOLOGY AND HAD YOUR HEART RIPPED OUT, hmm??
      i know, why do they have to disturb us RIGHT during the climax?!?
      YES I’VE HAD SIMILAR EXPERIENCES *cough* that one time i nearly got left behind on a school trip bc i was too busy reading *cough* SO I UNDERSTAND THE PAIN.
      thank you suhani ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Haha, wow! I absolutely love this post and it gave me the laugh I so very much needed right now 😂 I can definitely relate—especially when you mention that gunshot from TVD as I just finished it and OMG I was screaming!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. 😂😂😂 This post is soooooooo true. I love how universal these experiences and it’s calming to know you’re not the only one staying up all night to read a book (or books MWAHAHAHA). Loved thisssssssss.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. LMAO!! This post couldn’t be more true and relatable. There’s a reason why I don’t read books outside the comfort and safety of my own home hahahaha. But even so, I occasionally bump into random things (or walls) in the house because I was so occupied with a good book. Anyway, I’m new to your blog and I absolutely loved this post!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. What about this: reading a book while you are travelling by train and being so taken that you almost miss your stop? It almost happened to me – and the following stop would have been like 100km away from the right one =D

    Liked by 1 person

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