Yes I’ve been watching Ocean’s Eleven, why do you ask?
It is no great secret that me likes heists. A little bit. Yes I have been obsessed with six of crows (the ultimate heist book) since forever and yes I am currently binge watching classic heist movies (Ocean’s Eleven was first of course) but doesn’t mean I’m totally and utterly in love with anything that has a heist plot, right? right??
Now, this post as a whole might be a bit misleading about my persona. See I’m usually a good law abiding citizen. I never ever break any rules. (well there was that one episode in school when I sneaked off to play basketball on the court with my friend when I was supposed to be in class studying a subject I hated and on the court we pretended we belong to the other class which actually had sports then… but there’s no way you know this, is there?). But heists? They’re sort of my guilty pleasure. I don’t know, there’s something about a bunch of gangsters pulling off an epic heist right under the nose of the target that just gets me in the feels. Money is a motivation of course, but I especially love it when the real motive is some good old ~revenge~.
The latest development in this love for heists I might have gone from watching and reading heist stories to planning my own. And what does every heist need? A crew! (wow. smooth transition.) So welcome, wannabe thieves and notorious lords of the criminal underworld, to my wonderful crew comprised entirely of fictional characters!
The Mastermind
For obvious reasons Kaz Brekker from Six of Crows comes to mind. The man is a literal genius, I swear his braincells were manufactured differently from the rest of us. He always has a backup plan of a backup plan, will probably scheme his way out of hell and he’s never in the dark about anything. (even if he is actually surprised by something, he will convince you he already knew about it)
The Backer
Heists don’t come for free right? A lot of money is needed, and hence we require someone rich to cover our huge expenses. Avery Grambs from The Inheritance Games literally went from a nobody to a billionaire overnight, I’m sure she’ll see no reason not to sponsor our cause. Is there a thing like a luxury heist? Because if there is, with Avery backing us up, that is what we are going to do.
The Muscle
Tamar and Tolya, the bodyguard twins from the King of Scars duology would be my first pick whenever there are punches to be thrown and people to be quietened. And for good reason, because they are positively deadly (and yet that doesn’t stop me from swooning over them, just saying) AND TOLYA FREAKING LOVES POETRY. Okay yeah that doesn’t make sense in this context.
The Searcher
Alisa Montagov from These Violent Delights specialises in squeezing into impossible spaces and spying on people so she’d be ideal for gathering information about the target and spying on the organization ahead of the heist. Her talents were criminally underused in the duology though… and did I mention she’s 12?
The Distraction
We need someone to distract the guards/the target while the others tiptoe behind his back and I know just the person for the job. Kavi Thakrar from Not My Problem will efficiently rattle off an entire 3-minute monologue in a single breath and the target will be busy recovering for two minutes after that so that’s 5 minutes of safety guaranteed.
The Safecracker
Soo I’m sorta cheating with this one because I couldn’t think of a character who’s specialised in opening vaults and cracking safes. I’ll go with Tamsin from A Sweet & Bitter Magic since she’s a witch she can hopefully make up a spell to burn a hole right through any safe, right?
The Gadget Guy
Dex Dizznee from the Keeper Of Lost Cities series because the guy’s a literal Technopath, which means he has a way with anything that starts with m and ends with e and has tiny gears and possibly motors (yep, a machine!). He will also be our hacker (i believe he already has some experience in that field eh?😏) and the one who sits in a hotel room shouting instructions in the earpieces while the heist is going on.
The Getaway Driver
This one’s based on pure imagination because she never actually drives in the book as far as I remember, but I’m sure if you hand Millie Price from When You Get The Chance car keys, it’s going to result in pure and speedy chaos (tighten your seatbelts because we’re in for a ride!) and that’s the best kind of getaway there is, am i right?
That’s the end of this list folks! I think we’ve covered most archetypes so we’re doing pretty good here. And to those who are in the process of putting on their scandalized and appalled faces after this whole episode of mingling with criminals, what can I say? Books can be a bad influence *shrug*.
Which characters would you take along for a heist? Do you think the ones I mentioned fit the archetypes? What are your favourite heist books and movies? Let me know in the comments!!
~ Rachel
Okay, characters from Six of Crows seem like cheating. Because if that were the case, I’d bring all of them along and that’d be my crew. And I would actually just sit behind and let them do the stuff (except they would probably require an amount of money that I do not have, so I guess Avery would be good to bring along as well). I’ve read all of these book except for When You Get The Chance and I totally agree with these. Kavi was an excellent chance for distraction haha and wow I would never have thought of Dex to be honest! Awesome post!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah well I’m sure if six of crows was set in modern times then inej would have been the hacker though she wouldn’t have been happy about having to sit at one place all the time lol.
Oh yes we do need Avery– i dont like her but beggars can’t be choosers.
Ah thats the tragic life of Dex, always in the background, always being forgotten…
Thank you so much phoenix!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ooh this post was so cool! (Although Ive never heard of half these characters, heh). I must admit that when I saw ‘heist’ kaz brekker came to my mind at once. Yes, Alisa would make a great searcher! I love her character in the book, she’s so adorable.
LikeLiked by 1 person
after all kaz is the king of heists, what can i say.
i know!! and i think theres much more of her in foul lady fortune i’m so excited eep
LikeLiked by 1 person
All I know for sure is that these book characters are definitely better choices for your crew that goody-two shoes me! 🤣 Like, seriously, Rachel, even if I had had the courage to sneak out of class (I would never, ever, ever), I would have looked so guilty playing basketball that we would’ve been caught immediately!! Mastermind Kaz would never have allowed me on the crew, he’s way too smart for that 😂
LikeLike
oh seriously, except that ONE episode, i’m the model student and i will never have the guts for a heist… which is why heist stories are my consolation.
well yep i had to sadly sacrifice my conscience when i skipped class but atleast i got to have fun (and also weird looks from the other class but eh)
LikeLiked by 1 person
My number 1 choice definitely would be Kaz and the team)
LikeLiked by 1 person
KAZ AND CREW SUPREMACY!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is such a fun post Rachel! For me, I’m currently reading One of Us Is Lying, so I’d definitely use the main 4!
LikeLiked by 1 person
oooh i haven’t read OOUIL yet but characters from murder mysteries are sure to be tough!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is such a fun idea for a post, Rachel, and kinda makes me want to rewatch Leverage. (Love that show.) I think I would have to think about this a little harder but it would definitely fun to put together my own crew. Then again, what should I try to sneak in or out of? What’s the plan? Damn, now I have even more to think about. 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
hold up, i’m adding leverage to my watchlist brb.
oh yes planning a heist is an extremely difficult task indeed *shakes head gravely*
LikeLike
THANKS FOR MAKING ME WANT TO REWATCH OCEAN’S ELEVEN HMPH 😠
And Rachel, that devious plan of sneaking off to play basketball AND skipping a class??? I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GOOD RULE-FOLLOWING STUDENT?? THAT WAS VERY HEISTY AND EVIL INDEED. KAZ WOULD BE VERY PROUD OF YOUR PLOTTING SKILLS MWAHAHA 😈
And Kaz is the PERFECT (ahem and the best) MASTERMIND FOR A HEIST EVER. And a luxury heist sounds very tempting and seems much better than scavenging around with DIY tools like my broke self would’ve planned.
KAVI AHHH HE WOULD BE SO PERFECT AS A DISTRACTION ALSO HE’S SUCH A CINNAMON ROLL LIKE IMAGINE HAVING HIM ON YOUR TEAM ANJSGIYWE IT WOULD BE THE ABSOLUTE BEST!!
LOVED THIS POST SO SO MUCH!! 💖
LikeLiked by 1 person
AS YOU SHOULD bc its so amazing i cant believe i never saw it earlier!
ha I KNOW HOW TO CREATE DECEPTIVE REPUTATIONS is all. omg i would DIE if kaz ever gave me a compliment 😳
Well you’re welcome to join our luxury heist too, we could use your diy-ing skills for something!
I KNOW RIGHT? HE ALWAYS HAS THE BEST INTENTIONS AT HEART and i would feel a tiny bit guilty asking him to aid a heist.
thank you suhani!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such a fun post!! I totally agree with most of these, and the others I just haven’t read yet.
LikeLiked by 1 person
thank you :))
LikeLiked by 1 person
omg this is such a fun post rachel !!! also so true of you to add millie price my beloved 😌🧡
LikeLiked by 1 person
thank you! oh yes she will forever be my favourite person ever
LikeLiked by 1 person
oh WOW i LOVE THIS POST SO MUCH!!!
heists 🙌always wanted to commit one ❤
kaz would be a BRILLIANT mastermind ahh!! he'd probably kill you before you could even propose a heist to him, though haha.
ooh avery, i never thought of her but yeah, she has so much money😂
ALISA I LOVE HER!! HER AND INEJ would be *UNSTOPPABLE* together!!
NOW I WANT TO GO AND REREAD SIX OF CROWS, THANKS FOR THAT *sobs*
also i NEED more heist books/movies in my life kjfgdshf, d'you have any recs besides SoC and the 'ocean's' series?
LikeLiked by 1 person
hello fellow wannabe criminal!!
oof thats a scary thought *shudders*
RIGHT?? they would make the best team!
hmm well you could read the gilded wolves, and as for movies, these are not exactly HEISTS per say but same vibes – Catch me when you can and the italian job
LikeLiked by 1 person
gilded wolves is on my tbr!
thank you for the recs, i’ll def check them out <3catch me if you can sounds AMAZING
LikeLiked by 1 person