Books I’d Use As Weapons // aka books i’d throw at jesper if i was david

Yep, I’ve watched Shadow & Bone too many times now. This post confirms it.

I’m sitting in a cozy carriage, peacefully reading a book, when the carriage door is thrown open and before me stand three crooks. They look dangerous, and the one in the front is smirking at me (the audacity?!). So, like the bookworm extraordinaire I am, what do I do? Throw a book at his smug face! BAM! But since I do not own a copy of Shadow & Bone in Ravkan (though I’d very much like to… are you listening Universe?), which books would I throw instead? Obviously I’ll have to choose something that’ll cause significant physical/emotional damage. Let’s see some potential books that fulfill this purpose!

(if you have absolutely no idea what i’m talking about, i recommend you watch this little 3 second snippet from the S & B show https://youtu.be/cs7M3VXokhQ?t=216. basically jesper throws open the door of a carriage david is sitting in, and a startled david throws a book at his face. the rest of the scene consists of Kaz bonking David on the head with his cane and knocking him out as he gets down from the carriage)

We Are Not Free

Okay, so even if jesper isn’t intimidated by the number of POVs in this book (14!) this is one’s going to cause some serious emotional wreckage. Anyone would bawl reading this heart-wrenching historical fiction set during WWII. Amidst all those tears, Kaz probably wouldn’t even manage to bonk me on the head (but then again, he’s Kaz, so you never know).

Aurora Burning

Oh. My. God. Who wouldn’t die after seeing that GORGEOUS cover?? Not that I want to kill anyone, so maybe I’ll set it to stun. (dial down the charm a little bit, would you Kal?) And I know Jesper will fall for him immediately.
And not to mention, I have a hardcover copy of this book, and that, combined with the weight of all those pages, is definitely capable of causing some physical damage too.

The Book Thief
The Book Thief

Well, The Book Thief is a chonk of a book after all – it has over 600 pages. Sure to do some damage to that pretty face. (I’d watch the nose if I were you)

Yep, that’s it, no other reason. (can you tell i’m running out of books now?)

The House In The Cerulean Sea

This book is just so innocent, so heartwarming, I’m sure any criminal would have a change of heart on reading this. Perhaps Kaz’s crew would give up their huge prize and just let me sit in the carriage peacefully? Now that I come to think of it, that’s not likely. But I can hope right?

So yeah, I think we’re done here. I hope you lost a few brain cells while reading this. (if yes, you can join me in crazy land.)

Which book would you throw at Jesper if you were David? (and um… exactly how much of this post actually made sense?) Let me know in the comments!

Author: Rachel

Hey there, I am Rachel. I am crazy about books, and through my blog - "A Bookworm's Paradise", I try to connect with all the other bookworms out there.

27 thoughts on “Books I’d Use As Weapons // aka books i’d throw at jesper if i was david”

  1. ”Sure to do some damage to that pretty face. (I’d watch the nose if I were you)”

    Okay…well, this line had me laughing and imagining jesper-πŸ˜‚just imagine jesper being hit by a book. Tis is unhealthily funny haha.
    Oh and kaz and his crew should definitely spare a day or two to read the shadow and bone trilogy πŸ˜….
    And I guess you love Six of crows?? I do too! It is one of my faves now
    And if I was david, (haven’t watched the movie) I would have thrown harry potter and the order of the phoenix. Its the biggest book I can think of right now. NO I’ll throw the six of crows book as well as crooked kingdom and force jesper to read them!πŸ˜‚

    Like

    1. ahaha you don’t have to imagine jesper being hit by the book, its a scene in the show and i assure you, it is going to be as funny as in your brain lol.
      You “guess”?! okay i’m offended now, do my posts not give off the “this lass is obsessed with SoC” vibe?? just kidding, anyway, YES I love SoC and welcome to the fandom!
      Eeek great choices haha.
      thank you for reading the post!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Actually your love for SoC does show. But I wasn’t sure if you really liked it or loved it πŸ˜…. So best not to assume haha. God, i love jesper and hitting him with a book would do wonders to my health🀣

        Liked by 1 person

    1. rip cherry but i do feel the rest of the post is enough to shock a corpse back to life πŸ˜‚
      ahh I wonder when I’ll have the courage to go reread the book thief
      Thank you so much cherry, love ya πŸ’™βœ¨

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hahahahaha, I don’t even know what this post is, but I loved the amount of chaotic energy and Shadow and Bone references!!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ As for what book I’d throw – probably a children’s picture book. I can’t throw for the life of me, and since picture books aren’t that heavy, it would probably hurt less when I end up dropping the book on my own foot by accident πŸ€”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Same, even I have no clue what this was supposed to be, but I’m glad you like the vibes πŸ˜‚
      ahh why didn’t I think of that?? I mean, I don’t really consider myself a terrible thrower (thanks to basketball) but still I’m so clumsy I’d probably drop it on my poor toes too πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
      thank you Naemi πŸ’™

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I read this post first thing this morning and you made me chuckle every time with the shadow and bone references lol!! I do agree with The House on the Cerulean sea choice though.

    I’d also throw Anna Karenina or maybe Dune for the their size and the fact that these will give Jesper a lot to think about maybe lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. haha I’m glad to hear that (the craziness probably got you wide awake in seconds? πŸ˜‚)
      right?! That book definitely increases my chances.
      ooh yes good decision trying to go for the brain cells with those books!
      thank you so much Prachi πŸ’™

      Liked by 1 person

    1. haha yeah I got the hardcover copy on my birthday and it’s definitely one of the most beautiful books gracing my shelves😌
      WHY ARE YOU TORTURING YOURSELF BY NOT READING SIX OF CROWS?! Why, oh why??
      Anywayy thanks for reading the post ashmitaπŸ’™

      Like

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